Devastation Generation

I think my brother summed it up well when he said that I take being a numpty to a "whole new level". Not only did my inability to multi-task fail me yet again, but this time there were hideous consequences. I did not expect my trip to Font to begin stood on the hard shoulder of the M20 tearing the car apart for my passport. There was not even any point in looking, I knew where it was; back in Sheffield, in the multi-storey car park were I had plonked it on the roof of the car while I looked for the ferry tickets. There was nothing I could say to Pete, I just wanted to cry. Our much anticipated trip to the home of bouldering was blowing through the streets of Sheffield in the rain, being run over by cars, only to be later sold on the black market to Slovaks. It's probably not wise to have tears blurring your vision when you are driving north at 100mph so I did what any self-respecting man would do; I got angry instead. 

Hope ended a few hours later on my hands and knees in said multi-storey car park. Of course it wasn't there but I had to try. There is something special about the extravagantly worded and written paragraph inside a British passport. Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State Requests and requires in the Name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance, and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary. Fat lot of good it was doing me right now. In order to "pass freely" and be afforded "assistance" it is vital that you are a "bearer". I, with no-one to blame but myself, was not. 

Pete, to his credit, was taking all of this very well and was already getting stuck into the Peak District Psyche Brochure. I was waiting for his good humour to fail and when the heavens opened I thought I was for it. We had a bit of a walk around and a cup of tea in Hathersage before settling on a place to spend the night. North Lees was full so we banked on bivvying out in the woods under Stanage. 

After supper we relaxed into reading and listening to the birdsong. Resigned to a week in the peak but with a favourable forecast we were determined to make the most of second best. Dropping off, we were quickly roused by a shout of "Is this Safe?". The warden had arrived. "Do you have any weapons or drugs?". To which I replied "of course not, but we have had some whisky". He was friendly but officious. He said we should sleep in the car. Thinking we knew better, we packed up and moved across the road to a different piece of forest. The car was not appealing and had started raining again so we needed cover. We slept soundly only to be awoken by, yes, the ranger; "Morning boys". This time we got the full brunt of his ranger patter. Although he wasn't too upset by our encampment (he described it as "Ray Mears Syndrome") he gave us an official warning and told us that if we tried again, he would find us. "I am a stalker, I stalk people, I'm very quiet and I'm very good". 

It was 6:30am when we arrived at the burbage south boulders. They were wet, we were disheartened. I brewed some coffee and ate some bread and beans. Feeling sightly better, we decided that we should get off the high, misty ground and find somewhere else. We found Cratcliffe and the Stride. 

It was hot and muggy, not gritstone weather. We struggled around the east circuit at Cratcliffe but gave up fairly quickly. We found an undercut roof and both dispatched a nice 6b without much difficulty. Moving on to Robin Hoods, I was keen to try two 6bs which had done for me last time I was there. Both problems are aretes, one round, one sharp. I got the round one,  but not the sharp one. Pete dispatched the round arete second go and quickly found a good sequence for the sharp one. He thought the problem was too high to complete so we moved on. Pete sent Sweet Arete 6c and I came very close but just couldn't do enough with the final slopers. We were both pleased with how the day went. Pete got  6c and I climbed two 6bs including one I couldn't do last time. Not a bad start at all.